My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
