I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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