Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
