white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
