We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
