My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
