you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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