Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
