If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
