he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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