So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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