is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
It's never too late to be topless.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
