Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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