i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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