she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
