Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
