Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
