We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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