I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
