Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
