i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
