i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
