Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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