Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Randomize
