We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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