woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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