Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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