Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
