What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
