my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
