Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
