shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
