I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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