you're like a bully in the Christmas story
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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