im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
