I just pynch a tree in the face
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
