kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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