"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
