the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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