P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
zippers are such a cool invention
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
