Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
