fuck your aforementioned shoe
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
