I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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