We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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