Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
