When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Blow job season was short but glorious.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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