I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
