he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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