obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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