So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
