I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
