yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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