if i died would you start the facebook group?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
