I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
