just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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