Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
