I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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