I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize