I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
