i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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