he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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