Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
