just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
