His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
