If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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